Resident Evil: Beach Party
by Acalewia Eledhwen
Summary: The RE gang is having a huge party on a Californian beach. Please R/R ^_^


«I do not own the Resident Evil characters, never did and never will. They're copyrighted to Capcom. I don't own the songs mentioned in this fanfiction either, they belong to their respective owners.»  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Lifeguards & Barbecue  
  
California.  
  
A superb and flashy blue BMW was deftly speeding against the warm wind on Highway 250, palm trees along side the road. Aboard were Billy Cohen, Steve Burnside, Rebecca Chambers and Claire Redfield. Claire's pony tail floated in the breeze as she turned to Rebecca.  
  
"Thanks to you and Billy for picking us earlier, otherwise Steve and I would still be pushing Chris's old banger...You know, it's an old Roll-Royce..." she sighed.  
  
"Oh Claire, don't be so grumpy..." Rebecca said with a teasing tone.  
  
Claire gave the stare of doom at a laughing Rebecca but Billy hastily calmed the situation down by turning on the radio and putting some music before Claire and Rebecca break into a brawl. "I get around" (Beach Boys) started to play. The BMW finally arrived at the beach. Cheerful music reached the newcomers' ears, cheerful songs such as "Macarena" (Los Del Rio), "Tic-tic Tac" (Fruit de la Passion) and "Girl, I want to make you sweat" (UB40). Steve suddenly spotted six drunken Robert Kendo, Chief Irons, Dario Rossatto, Ben Bertolucci, Nemesis and Mr.X, all dancing the so common but official Macarena dance. Steve watched them, sweat dropping.  
  
"These guys are already wasted..." he muttered under his breath.  
  
Claire moved to him, a smile creeping across her face. She grabbed Steve's hand and told him, "Come on, Steve. Let's go put on our swimsuits...we don't really fit with the scenery... and then let's face those big waves ahead!!" She dragged him along and the couple disappeared inside the changing-rooms.  
  
In the meantime, Billy and Rebecca had asked for drinks at the bar. Nosferatu, the barman, grabbed two Smirnoff bottles inside the huge cooler and handed them in. Billy thanked the monster and headed towards a nice spot on the beach, a nice spot to relax with Becca. They settled down under a parasol. The young S.T.A.R.S spread solar lotion on the Marine's back and he did the same with her thereafter. She snuggled up to him and he embraced her with his muscular arm. Rebecca took a look at the surroundings and caught sight of something. Sat on a very high chair and wearing red shorts, an archaeologist-like hat and black sunglasses, Tyrant the Lifeguard watched carefully the people on the beach. He had a whistle attached to the string around his neck.  
  
Nevertheless, he was so busy at contemplating the shining and shimmering blue sea that he was unaware of the two girls who desperately tried to attract his attention. Rebecca immediately recognised the two girls: they were actually the Raccoon City mayor's daughter and the announcer of the Umbrella product (Aquacure, Safsprin or Adravil) on the TV remote controller found in the Sales Office in RE3.  
  
"Woo-hooo?! Mister Cute Lifeguard! Heeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Look this way!!! Wooo-hooo!!! Mister Lifeguard!!!  
  
Rebecca sighed at the stupidity of the two brainless girls. She laid against Billy and closed her eyes, feeling the sun rays tickling her feet (which was actually a crab, climbing on her toes). A cry suddenly resounded. Carlos Oliveira was in the middle of the huge waves, almost drowning. Appearing from nowhere, lifeguard Jill took her shirt off, revealing a red swimsuit. She ran towards the sea all Bay Watch like. Tyrant suddenly blew his whistle.  
  
"No running on the beach. It's forbidden." He advised Jill with a monotonous voice.  
  
"But! I'm a lifeguard too and I've got to save Carlos!!!" she replied with a plaintive tone.  
  
"The rule is the rule. There could be an accident if you run" Tyrant retorted.  
  
Jill quickly walked to the sea, dove in the water and pulled Carlos's unconscious body out of the waves. Everyone gathered up around the couple. Jill leant her over Carlos's head to check if he was still breathing but he wasn't. She told the people to step back so she could do the CPR. She inhaled some air and then her lips met with Carlos's, giving him some air. Jill finally stepped back and waited. Carlos was still looking lifeless. Jill lowered her head.  
  
"Carlos..." she sadly moaned.  
  
The U.B.C.S mercenary's chest then started to move. Carlos suddenly burst out laughing. A fuming Jill felt smoke coming out of her ears. She stuck out her tongue at him as Claire and Steve ran past her with their surfboards. She stared at Steve's "swimming shorts", sweat dropping. They were blue with flashy designs of Sponge Bob Square Pants (or something like that). "Surfin' USA" (Beach Boys) played as the two young people defied the waves, unaware of the two FI-3 Neptunes, lurking in the shadows of the sea and silently approaching their two preys. Ada Wong, who had been dozing off on her beach blanket, woke up and perceived the two dangerous animals and pointed them out, screaming, "WATCH OUT!!!! SOMEBODY, HELP!" Her shrill cry reached Tyrant's ears. He jumped off his chair and stood before the two sharks.  
  
"Out of our way, Tyrant. It's our lunch time. If you don't, we'll chop your legs off. Kya kya kya" One of the sharks grunted in their Biohazard language. Tyrant raised an eyebrow (does he actually have an eyebrow? O.o; ). He grinned evilly.  
  
"You're not worthy of my power...and my job is to look after these people." the B.O.W said with confidence.  
  
"Errr, aren't they Alexia's and Leon's line?" Steve interrupted him.  
  
"Shaddup!!! You should be thankful that I'm saving your little ass. Anyway, Alexia's line is You are not worthy of ITS power!!!!!! and Leon's is As an officer, it's my job to look after you." Tyrant fired back with conviction.  
  
Steve then asked himself how many times Tyrant had played RECV and RE2 to know the characters' lines like this. The Neptunes rushed towards Tyrant but within the second that followed, the two of them were thrown away at the other end of the galaxy by a masterful punch. *Seijuro Hiko's powerful theme from Rurouni Kenshin can be heard* There stood Tyrant.....*story focusing on Tyrant keeping his cool heroic pose* He kissed his biceps and turned to the two amazed Claire and Steve. The two girls from earlier let out a high-pitched scream and dashed toward Tyrant, "Waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! Mister Tyrant-sama you're so cool!!!!!!!!" *hearts floating above their head*  
  
Jill stared at the scene in a daze.  
  
"This guy is an egomaniac..." she whispered.  
  
Finally, everything returned to normal. Steve and Claire continued to surf as Tyrant sat back on his chair, gazing at the sky, looking absent-minded. Carlos joined the six drunken ones in their Macarena dance. Suddenly, the sound of a malfunctioning car engine sounded. Aboard his car towed by some ugly brown truck, Chris waved to his friends.  
  
"CHRIS!!!!!!!" Jill shouted happily.  
  
As she raced to the parking, she stepped on something strange on the beach.  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Albert Wesker shouted in pain. Jill had just stepped on his left leg. Wesker's legs and waist were actually buried in the sand. He was drinking some alcoholic fruit punch in a coconut shell. A small board of aluminium was placed on his chest, under his chin.  
  
"Sorry Wesker!!! But, what the hell are you doing?" Jill asked.  
  
"I'm getting a suntan. I want my fine physique with no blemish to be perfect. " he answered.  
  
A sweat drop rolled on Jill's temple.  
  
"Oh and where are your lovely Hunters?" Jill asked.  
  
Wesker raised his hand and pointed some Hunters building a sandcastle with Sherry Birkin. The S.T.A.R.S girl frowned and shook her head. She finally left Wesker to his suntan and joined Chris. She hugged him tightly. Chris paid the tug and sighed. Jill smiled happily at him and jumped into his arms. With his muscular arms, Chris carried Jill to the beach's snack bar. Wearing a chief-like white hat, William Birkin 1st form turned over some steaks, sausages, hot-dog and hamburger bread with his spatula. He grinned at the two S.T.A.R.S members.  
  
"Fancy on tasting those delicious home-made hamburgers and hot- dogs? Come, give it a try! You know you want it"" the monster asked.  
  
Seeing the Baby G-Infants frying in the hot-dogs and hamburgers bread, Chris and Jill politely refused Birkin's offer. Hearing someone yapping, Chris suddenly turned around and caught sight of Alfred Ashford holding a metal detector, bouncing on with his sister Alexia, not too far behind.  
  
"Hey Alfred, what are ya doing with this...thing?" Chris asked.  
  
Alfred's face turned darker. Sorrow crept across his face.  
  
"I actually forgot to buy a gift to Alexia for the Independence's Day..."  
  
His face suddenly lightened up.  
  
"BUT! I searched that beach and I found something interesting. Here, take a look at this!" he said. He held a shining and shimmering gold pendant in the air. The small object seemed very expensive. Birkin 1st form rushed onto Alfred.  
  
"This thief! This filthy little thief! Wicked, tricksy, falssse. Where issssit? Where isssit? He stole it from us. We wants it!!! My preciousssss!" Birkin growled.  
  
Amidst the struggle, Alfred wriggled loose and leapt onto Birkin. As Birkin fell back, Annette (who had appeared from nowhere in sight) took the gun hidden inside her beach purse and aimed at Alfred.  
  
"You, release him! I know what you're looking for. You came for the G- Virus, didn't you?" she intoned.  
  
Annette was suddenly knocked to the ground. Behind her stood Alexia Ashford, holding a pink surfboard with the Barbie logo on it. Alexia let out her insane laugh but it turned into a strident cry of pain. Annette had struggled to her feet and was biting Lady Ashford's calf. A brawl ensued. Alfred, Birkin and Brad (because it was his surfboard that Alexia had stolen) joined in. Finally, Chris calmed down everyone before it turned into a free-for-all. Alfred gave back Sherry's pendant to the Birkins and he and his sister headed towards the beach. The Birkin parents went back to their barbecue, preparing hot-dogs and hamburgers for the crowd. A hungry Brad stood by the bar and ordered a burger.  
  
"Hey fella! I wanna a hamburger with ketchup, mustard, onions, cheese and some lettuce." He said.  
  
Birkin nodded and took some meat and bread from the grill. He put the meat between the two slices of bread as skilfully as Maman Dion (Maman(Mother in French) during her brunch TV show. In the meantime, Brad was having a chat with a zombie about their experience as being Umbrella's victims. So, he didn't notice that a Birkin 1st form had actually sneezed into his hamburger, leaving two litres of snot (mucus?) into his hamburger. Birkin finally handed over the hamburger to its owner. To satisfy his ferocious appetite, Vickers ate half of his hamburger in one shot. And he chewed the slimy snot...Suddenly, he refrained and kept still. He swallowed hard and glanced at William who was wiping his nose (does the monster actually have a nose? O.o; ). Brad's face slowly turned green and he hurled the burger away, running like a freak towards the toilets to vomit. He was soon joined by three drunken Nemesis, Mr. X and Chief Irons...  
  
END OF CHAPTER 1  
  
«That's it for the first chapter... I hope you like it. ^_^ Next chapter coming soon.» 


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